Thursday, March 30, 2006

itsTOOcomplicated

all i wanna do is to be good to ppl but ppl turns out to use me. what am i doing? i pity ppl and i end up following whatever they tell me to do..for zaki's situation..he end up liking me ..first i felt the effection but i help myself to realise that i do not like him and he is just my friend. he is still on my skin..he wants to try to win me back from myself..hehe...he wants to bring me out for my b'dae..but im having a chalet and i dont want him to feel used coz he might buy for me stuff and i still dont like him..all his jokes doesnt amuse me anymore..last weekend my family had a chalet and i was sick..sore throat was bad and i cant hear my own voice..a slight fever too...i nvr gt the chance to swim for the 1st day..i also skip band dat day..my mom was very upset when i demanded to go for band despite my sore throat...so to prevent the 'blablabla' from my mom i actually listened to her..for the 2nd day i recovered abit and got the permission from my mom to go for a swim..i happy i was!..=p i was with my dad bro-in-law n 2 cousins..we began to play volleyball in water at around 1130am...which is near noon and i know that its gonna be hot ..i still played the game as the day wasnt that hot but there was an intense heat which gave me sunburn! ahhh! my face is all red not..the skin is starting to peel off..i got two tones of skin colour now...oh man!
everything is so hard now im starting to struggle..i hate the feeling..everyone is a pain in the ass..

Who?s got my back now?

When all we have left is deceptive

So disconnected

So what is the truth now?

Theres still time?

All that has been devastated

Can be recreatedRealize

We pick up the broken pieces

Of our lives

Giving ourselves to each other?

ourselves to each other

To rest our head on

haunted ;
time;5:39 PM

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catch a falling star...

ive been so cooperative to friends and myself..i finally felt like i have friends that would really treasure me the way i am and be very comfortable with me..but friends are not forever to depend on...i became lonely again, i dont know how to react anymore..im caught in the middle...

she just quit softball and she's the only girlfriend who has been so nice to me..i felt invisible again..wen she is moody i dont know how to react..but i want us to be happy always..but i know, i wont be forever, i dont have a friend quality..i have such low self-esteem..i try not to care what people think when i go with my friends..for the first time i felt freedom and i am myself...

i got to know this guy..he got a low profile at first, it was abit awkward wen he message me the first time...but he was so good to me..for the a long time, ive been appreciated again..i hope he will be by my side when i need him...
i have no one now..i dont know how to be alone...
i hope by den ill be by his side too...



he is patient
he is clever
he is fun
he is lame
he is immatured
and the most important is...
he is right there
...For me

haunted ;
time;4:24 PM

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further-away

till now i haven watch harry potter..damn..very hopeful it will be today..but just knew dat my brother-in-law cant take half day so me, my sis and my bro can watch together..damn..i have done onli some of my hw..im worried..

i felt really lonely nowadays...like my sis, whom i always talk to, is in italy and the other is always in school and come home quite late..or she will be with her boyfren,abg firzad..(my beloved brother..hahahaha)and now my elder sis is always in the room sometimes..and my mom is always nagging at me...it seems like ive done everything wrong...everything is so hard..i just wanna go out..verily hopeing any of my frens wld wanna ask me out..anyone..guy or girl...i juz wanna go out!!!!!!!!!

my nephew is very soon 4months...the previous two weeks he was having diarrhoea..and his cheeks deflate..now he is doing good and his cheeks are wrking..its infalting!!!haha...he look like a pear..haha..he got damn long lashes..i mean literally..its longer then mine..i feel like biting him..haha...

movies to watch...harry potter,goblet of fire+ just like heaven+ sky high+ zathurah(i dono y i wanna watch dis show..hehe)

...haunted am i

haunted ;
time;2:11 PM

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untitled

its so soon to be sec 3 next year.. i got the class that most of my sec2 classmates wants, which is 3c, E3G..im taking geography,pure chemistry and biology..there is lotsa rumors(or true) that in pure biology, we have to cut frogs.eewww! thats purely disgust disgusted disgusting... im scared to get gd class..wat if i cant cope with the work? what if i retain again next year?...its nt even 2006 yet and im scared..but ill try my best yeah...anyway my nephew is 3 months yr, haha,cute..he gt a cubby cheek..mayb ill watch harry potter;goblet of fire, tomorrow...hopefully...hehe



the end

haunted ;
time;4:33 PM

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iTs The eNd oF mE

Woo..exams over...holiday for 4 days but maybe im onli gonna have like 1 dae of freedom, whick is sunday...coz todae,i freaking have to go to school bcoz of a case tat someone wanna steal my hp...pity me..me come other victims are waiting for the police to come..in about 1 hr...dats freaking pathetic..i reach here at 9am..ya dis is sucky...i feel like going hm and sleep and come back to school...or tell the police to come to my house and ask me questions rather den going to school again...ok lets stop ranting...friday; there is sectionals..saturday;there band..haiz..FREEDOMLESS! its right after exams and there is band! give us a break man...

ok..i got sumone in my mind for quite sometime but he dont notice...haha...i just wanna bare in mind that i have a crush on someone..haha..

anyone reading dis...mayb its u!

*suspend*suspend*

haunted ;
time;9:48 AM

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wishes to wish.....

nowadays im quite busy trying to catch up with my classmates...yup they are smart ppl...im like the low low ppl....yesterday i study till 3am yup...i covered science already...hoping to cover home econs today and study geography tomorrow....yup...verlily in confused situation now...


*wishes*::::pass all my exams(everyone wants that), to be an architecture......................*****

haunted ;
time;12:38 PM

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s1x feEts Under...

peek-A-bo0..its been ages since i update my blogspot...have been busy and lazy.i dont wanna flunk with my studies but ya, still need more work to be done...haizZ..guess im just lonely now so spend alot time at home also...dats good but nagger are there to throw words at me..damn...im so lonely..i gonna forget all the guys i had b4 and start fresh..so..im kinda available but not gonna have any companion...studies comes first...but still, i wanna talk to someone at least...haha...dont hesitate to talk to me..aite..ill keep in touch soon...peace out!!

haunted ;
time;3:22 PM

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bittersweet MEMORIES.
; June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
March 2005
May 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
March 2006